By Linda Marks, Dan Booth
Coh
en,
Jamy Faust, Peter Faust and
Carol Bedrosian
“If you look deeply into
the palm of your hand,
you will see your parents
and all generations of
your ancestors.
All of them are alive in
this moment.
Each is present in your
body.
You arethecontinuation
of each of these people.”
— Thich Nhat Hanh
Have you ever experienced a life pattern that keeps repeating no matter
how you try to unravel or heal it? Genetic research now confirms
psychology’s earlier theories that the origin of this problem may
possibly lie before your birth; furthermore, when we heal ourselves we also heal
our future family lineage.
I first read about the Family Constellation work of Bert Hellinger (b. 1925)
over 15 years ago and was fascinated by the idea of family wounds being carried
forward into current and future generations — the invisible family ties that bind.
Hellinger’s brilliant observations over decades of work on such profound issues as
why individuals are pushed out, not spoken of or denied a place in the family, and
why behavioral patterns appear to repeat unconsciously over generations have
provided fertile ground over the years for Family Constellation Work to sprout
many branches not only in North America and Europe, but all over the world.
While Hellinger’s biggest contribution to family healing may be his unique
integration of insights into a usable body of work, many still find it somewhat
elusive to grasp how moving people around in “constellations” in a room like
pieces on a chess board could have anything to do with healing the family soul.
Hellinger’s early experiences taught him unwavering loyalty to and the skill of
listening to the authority of one’s own soul. From this empirical foundation arose
the awareness of looking at reality exactly as it is. Here is where we notice that
the family energy field or family soul intimately influences the lives of each of us
through healing and wounding, and it is within this sphere that family constellations are created and transformed.
Hellinger noted that families are, by nature, permanent and indivisible, a
collective of individuals spanning past, present and future from which one can
never be expunged, not even through death. As individuals, our yearning to belong
is so strong that we act in accordance with the desires and norms of our group in
order to fit in and be accepted, sometimes no matter what the price. Our beliefs
and ultimately our actions reflect this greater group consciousness. Science is now
discovering evidence that genetic coding may bind us to conform to behavioral
patterns in our family of origin, simply to belong. Knowingly or unknowingly,
you will go through life expressing layers of subtext, disconnect, personal interpretation and shadows that are part of your family’s reservoir until you can speak for
something new.
Like the celestial constellations that have traveled our heavens since time
immemorial, we are stars placed within the constellations of our families, each
with its own unique mythology to play out. However, unlike the stars, our paths
are not fixed and we can rewrite our stories to insert happier endings for ourselves
and future lineage. — CB, Editor
